• Three Minutes

The "Men-Only" Feminist Club

Updated: Jun 18, 2020

Our today’s edition focusses on something beautiful. A concept which is all rage in Sweden, A male-only supper club for feminists.

Intrigued? We were too.

Sweden has always been a country which actively promotes women’s rights and this is another such instance. These supper clubs, known as ‘Killmiddag’ meaning guys talk, in English. This is a place where men come together and discuss several gender-related topics and issues. They talk about several diverse topics, ranging from sexual assault in public places to gender inequality faced by people in life.

People have said that these clubs have helped them provide mental clarity. They often come to the Killmiddag dinners and discuss something wrong they did, something against a minority and maintain that such positive discussion where they can speak the truth without being looked upon negatively is a welcome change.

Even psychologists say that such single-gender groups help a lot because people here feel part of a community and are able to share yet aren’t afraid of the judgement they might’ve faced if confiding to close friends or family.

A man, using an anonymous Reddit handle said that in these groups, people who have done wrong previously try to contribute to society in some way or another. He maintains that what he does won’t ever be enough to right his wrongs but it helps ease his conscience. Even women, whose partners have been going to these clubs see a positive change and appreciate it.

Although even for something which seems all good, critics are galore. Some people said that these clubs were just a place for like-minded people to get together and might lead to a negative influence instead of a positive one. But members of the Killmiddag vehemently disagree. They maintain that misogynistic thoughts aren’t welcome here and if someone were to propose something like that, he would be vehemently ousted by the club.

Others simply feel that it is “not a universally good idea”. Here we are quoting Ivar Arpi, a Swedish author and political columnist, who maintained that he had nothing against such dinner table emotion talk but he feels many men won’t be comfortable doing so.

He says, “It is not a universally good idea to talk about stuff. And it is not universally good to locate your problems to masculinity”. He feels that such emotions are better expressed by many men through indirect mediums like channelling them into sports.

Yet we feel that it is very important. The “boys are strong” story that has been fed to them since they were kids has taken a toll on many people’s mental health and talking in a positive stimulating environment almost always helps.

Similar to Sweden’s Killmidag, Men’s Sheds exist in Australia and UK and serve a similar purpose – an all men club for discussions just with a wider breadth of topics. Such platforms give people the strength to talk about difficult topics. And as a former Killmiddag sceptic puts it –

“The more difficult you find a topic to talk about, the more important it is to talk about.”

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